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Friday, September 22, 2006

Turkish bread


Next Sunday, 1st of October, we will elect the Austrian Parlament. Half a dozen of political parties have been flinging dirt at each other since March or so; the Conservatives (ÖVP) and the Social Democrats (SPÖ) are fighting for first place like ill-behaved little boys in a sandbox ("You had more scandals than we had!" "Yes, but yours were worse!"), and one Mr. H. C. Strache, head of the "Liberal" party (FPÖ), is trying for third place.
Mr. Strache was trained as a dental technician - maybe that gives him the necessary competence for showing his teeth ten times a day. He is billed as The Patriot (did Mel Gibson sue him yet?) and calls himself things like a "patriotic socialist" (he might go all the way while he's at it and use another adjective instead of "patriotic"!). His posters say "Let's be master in our own house" (let him stay at home, then he will be!) and also "Home, not Islam" (my o my... all we've waited for is a guy who will save Vienna from being taken over by the muslims... after all, they tried twice, in 1584 and 1683).
It's all tactics, of course. No sane person could seriously believe that Austria is really any the worse for a few hundred thousands of Turks living in Vienna. And just because some rotters in Vienna do not like their Turkish neighbours, even they won't be silly enough to vote for Strache. Or will they?

There are some parts of Vienna that might easily be in Istanbul, if you don't look close. Turkish shops, Turkish cafés and restaurants with menus printed in Turkish only. Great fun - you can practise the language and eat lovely food at the same time! After all, if you went to school in Vienna, you are likely to have Turkish friends and speak a little of their language.
You see lots of women with scarves on their heads, if you walk through the more inhabited districts of Vienna... and you meet very pretty Turkish girls who maybe pretend to be shy and well-behaved, but make fun of you behind your back - great fun.
And what I and my friends like best are those Turkish shops whose owners are pious muslims. Because, you see, that means that they are closed on Friday, but open the rest of the week... and if you are a student, or an artist, or just a busy weirdo, and don't get time for shopping during the week, you can go to the Turkish bakery at the corner (named Gül, or Aslan, or Karadeniz) on Sunday morning, and get a very nice meal of fresh Turkish bread and olives and cheese, and maybe some oriental sweets... Really, we can hardly imagine this town without our muslim friends.
And so we'd rather subscribe to what some of them have judiciously written on the FPÖ posters: Bir iki üç, Strache boklu kiç (One, two, three - Strache, sh*tty *sshole!)

P.S.: This is my first and last commentary on an election topic.

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5 Comments:

Blogger Åsa said...

hahaha, funny
Same goes for Norway and Spain, I am alwasy happy for the turkish guy on the corner who is open on sundays so I can pop by and get some samosa
:)

10:05 AM  
Blogger caru said...

*violently shaking my head*

samosas are indian, not turkish.
we've got those too, a few thousand people from india live in vienna, and some of them sell wonderful samosas (yes, on sunday too... some indians are muslims).
and the sikhs from panjab practically form a colony in the north of the town, surrounded by little panjabi restaurants.
friend of mine can't go shopping without meeting sikhs in full costume. great fun.

12:14 PM  
Blogger Marlies said...

haha what a creepy man and what a stupid slogan!It's stupid he is picking on the Turkish. Like they are any danger!

I get confused with all these parties with the Ö in them. :)

12:08 AM  
Blogger caru said...

oh, it will be easier after this weekend's election. the BZÖ (the other gang of nationalist righties) is going to disappear - at least i hope so.

1:09 AM  
Blogger Marlies said...

I hope so too!

1:57 AM  

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